Friday, April 1, 2011

New products announcement !!!

We're extremely happy and excited and very pleased and thrilled to announce two new products to the Benchcrafted lineup. We've been working on these for several months and it's been very difficult to keep these under wraps. We never thought we'd be subject to such things but we've had to contact our lawyers on several occasions to bring charges of corporate espionage against parties that will remain unnamed as per the settlement agreements. Needless to say, we are relieved to finally announce these items which will in turn take some of the wind out of our competitors sails.

One product, is entirely made in the USA. The other product will be available in both a USA and a Mexico version. We're typically very conscientious about keeping everything in the Americas, but this item was only available via Mexico so we had no choice but to have it made on another continent. OK, so enough talk. We're VERY proud to announce the Benchcrafted G.P.T., Glide Paper Towel holder!

We've spared no expense. As with our award winning vises, the materials are top notch and will blend with any post-industrial kitchen decor. Whether your little homemaker is a machinist, woodworker, or simply a former Eastern Block designer, this will fit right in. The weight will immediately be appreciated. How many times have you gone to tear off a single sheet of paper towel, tucked it under your chin, walked down the hallway and into the living room, sat down with your full slab of ribs, only to find you pulled the whole roll off and now have to close up the recliner and go fix that mess? No more.

The NEW Benchcrafted G.P.T. !

Your Homemaker will LOVE it!

Our second announcement would have been impossible had we not been able to secure, under extreme expense we might add, the design advise and mentor-ship of world renowned Industrial Designer D. Puch. Alski. We approached Mr. Alski with a simple request; what can we offer that will seem complex but not be, inexpensive yet costly, deep but shallow, and accessible to only the few? His answer astounded us!

"What does everyone need, from Disappointment, Kentucky to Ngama, Chad? What are we all looking for all the time?"

"Food, water, shelter? The meaning of life?"

"No you idiots! Wallets. Wallets are the answer to everything. We keep everything that is most important in our wallets. But what is the matter with wallets? They are are ugly. I find them offensive with their folding and creasing."

Needless to say we were floored. And this, we are proud to announce is the final result of his design prowess.

The Benchcrafted Brakolai Bandolier

As we said earlier, it is available in two versions, the Limited Edition Tinamura & Antle iBrakolai (see it's white just like an Apple product) and the South of the border Bandito Blue Brakolai Bandolier. Both are finished is supple caoutchouc, durable, functional and above all, chic!

Availability late Fall 2010.

Limited Edition Tinamura & Antle iBrakolai on top, Bandito Blue Brakolai Bandolier on bottom.

Bandito Blue Brakolai Bandolier in action!


  1. 20110401 related perchance?

  2. Is that a stainless steel version of Tom Servo on your counter, Jameel?

  3. Nice. Mr. Alski will win an award for his brilliance. The award will be made of a rare and precious material known as REY614.


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